Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Wanderlust Wednesday ~ Why my Euro trip terrifies me as much as it excites me

 

A week from now I'll be in London. Even just typing that makes me want to hyperventilate. I'm excited...but I'm also nervous. Really nervous. The excitement is obvious. Travel! Lifelong dreams coming true! London! Paris! Rome! Traveling with a friend I've known for 25 years! But the nerves...oh boy. I've tried to focus on the excitement, but I can't deny the nerves.

See, I'm a hermit. I work from home and I can go days (and days and days) without leaving the house or seeing anyone other than my mum. I'm an introvert and I'm shy to boot. I enjoy time alone and need time to recharge after being around people. Lots of noise and activity exhausts me. Crowds freak me out. I have social anxiety issues. All of that seems at odds with someone going on a two-week trip and who will be with a travelling companion 24/7, plus a group of people for 9 days, plus going to three of the biggest cities in the world.   

*deep breath*

Then there's the part of me that knows this will be good for me. A whole new experience, new places, new people. I talked a couple weeks ago about how I've been stuck in a rut and I desperately need to recharge my creative batteries, and I know for that reason alone I need this trip. I need to conquer some of my fears and try new things. I'm usually someone who likes to plan things, and it helps my anxiety if I'm able to know what to expect in situations...but there are going to be tons of situations I can't plan for or know what to expect. And even though it causes me some anxiety, it's probably a good thing. It's been a long time since I've done anything truly spontaneous, and I feel like this trip will allow for tons of spontaneous, unexpected things. It's going to be an adventure in every way, and that's a good thing. I just need to keep telling myself that. 

I will be brave.
I will be bold.
I will try new things.
I will be open to new experiences.
I will have no regrets.
I will soak it all in.
I will not let fear hold me back.
I will be spontaneous.
I will take a deep breath when I need to.
I will be confident.
I will draw out that fun girl inside who's been hidden away for too long, silenced, buried by doubts and fears, and I will set her free.

3 comments:

  1. Oh I hate anxiety. The first time I left the country I was sick for weeks before hand. After I got there though everything was fine. You're going to have a blast. Hang in there. You won't regret it. *hugs*

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  2. It's going to be amazing and wonderful and amazing and beautiful and amazing and spectacular... And did I mention amazing? <3 You will be all those things and more. <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. You will have a great time! But I don't blame you for being nervous either. I would be bouncing off the walls and trying to keep my imagination in check.

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~Marie

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